Saturday, October 2, 2010
PARENTS: WHO COMES FIRST ?
PARENTS: WHO COMES FIRST ?
Children have a greater duty upon their mothers than their fathers.
“And we have emphasised man to maintain bond relations with his parents. His mother kept him in his womb with difficulty, and gave birth with difficulty and he lied in the womb and obtained (milk) for 30 months”.
In this blessed verse Allah has again mentioned the importance of parents rights and has stressed even more the rights of the mother by mentioning the tremendous difficulty of pregnancy, labour and the time after when the mother gives the child the milk (extracted from her own blood)
Also in another verse Allah states:
“And we have emphasised man concerning the rights of his parents”.
Hadhrat ‘Aisha RadiAllahu Anha states:
“I asked the Messenger upon a women who has the greatest rights’ he replied ‘Her Husband’ then I aksed ‘Upon men who has the greatest right, he said ‘his mother’.
Hadhrat Abu Hurairah RadiAllahu Anhu:
“One man came to the messenger of Allah and requested/asked, ‘O Messenger of Allah, who is the most worthy that I may have good relations with them he replied, ‘Your mother’ the man asked again, the reply was ‘Your mother’, the man asked again, the reply was ‘Your father’
In another narration by Imam Ahmed / Ibn Majah / Hakim & Baihaqi it is stated as three times the rights of the father.
However, the excess right of the mother is concerning the care and aiding of the mother. (e.g) If one son wants to give £100 to his parents and there is no one in particular need then he should give – his mother £75 and father £25 (e.g) if the parents simultaneously asked for a glass of water then first the glass should be given to the mother then the father (e.g) Not that if there is a quarrel between the parents the son should support the mother and May Allah forbid hurt the father or speak cruelly to him or be arrogant towards him – these things are all unlawful and sinful not obedience of the mother nor father.
If the mother wants the son to be arrangnat or forceful against his father and he disobeys her then she is angry – let her be unhappy – this does not enter into the rights of the mother.
It is stated in Alamgiri that “When it becomes difficult to fulfil the rights of both parents e.g. “If by fulfilling ones rights it becomes unbearable/difficult upon the other” then he should exceed more in respecting the father and exceed more (than the father) in caring/aiding his mother. E.g. if both arrived at the sons house then he should stand up in respect for his father and (if both ask) give the glass of water to the mother first”.