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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The Relationship between the husband & the Wife /Our Daughters are Blessing, Not a Burden




The Relationship between the husband & the Wife
The relationship between the husband and wife is a very tender, loving and pure relationship. They are in reality the "garb" of one another. Thus, it is the duty of each to be protective over the life, property and modesty of one another. It is necessary for them to realise and understand their mutual duties as a couple. They are two bodies joined by the soul.

The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated that if a husband was pleased and content with his wife when she passed away, then she will enter Paradise. The explanation of one Hadith is that if a husband passes the night displeased with his wife, she invokes upon herself the Curse of Allah and the Angels. In another hadith, the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, "If I had commanded prostration for any other than Allah, I would have commanded the wife to make Sajdah to the husband." However, since Sajdah is none but for Allah, a woman cannot prostrate to her husband but she should be obedient towards him.

The husband is the provider and protector of his wife. He should thus fulfill her needs and keep her pleased. "The best from amongst you is he who is best to his wife." (Hadith) If there is a conflict, the husband should not be hasty to give her Talaaq (Divorce), but should cool his temper, think carefully and take the opinion of elders before making any decisions as Talaaq is not something which is liked. The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated: "From those actions that are Halaal, the most disliked is Talaaq."

The wife should also be patient with the husband. She should show her gratitude for anything that he does. She should understand him and not be lavish with his wealth. She should always be neatly attired and loving. She should love and respect his family. That house in which there is daily conflict is living hell and that home in which there is love and respect is a blessed home.

The Laws of Shari'ah: If a man passes away, the wife may give him Ghusal, but the husband cannot give his deceased wife Ghusal, nor can he touch her deceased body without a cloth. He can, however, see her face. It is common in the public that the husband cannot carry the wife's Janazah or lower her into the grave. This is false. He may see her face, carry her Janazah and lower her into the grave.

Our Daughters are Blessing, Not a Burden

Children are a great gift from Almighty Allah to all parents. Parents must think of their children as such treasures that the all the wealth and material resources are worthless as when compared to one�s children. We, as parents, should thank Almighty Allah for blessing us with children whether they are boys or girls. Today, it is quite disheartening to see that some parents rejoice when the newborn child is a male and show their dissatisfaction when the child is a female. But, this should not be the attitude. Islam does not condone this type of behaviour, as such was the manner of the parents in the time of ignorance.

Daughters are without doubt a great blessing from Almighty Allah. They are a means of salvation and a path to Jannah for their parents. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated that when a boy is born, then he brings one Noor (light) and when a girl is born, then she brings two Noors. It has been narrated in a Hadith that the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated that if parents are kind and generous towards their daughters, then they will be so close to the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) in Jannah, like one finger is to the next. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has also stated that the person who is faced with hardship due to his daughters, and makes Sabr (is patient), then his daughters will be a Purdah (curtain) between him and Hell.

The crux of one narration states that one who loves his daughters and withstands the hardship of grooming and getting them married, then Almighty Allah makes Jannah Waajib (compulsory) on him and keeps him protected from the Fire of Hell.

Hazrat Khwaja Uthman Haaroni (radi Allahu anhu), the Peer-o-Murshid of Khwaja-e-Khwajegaan, Hazrat Sheikh Khwaja Ghareeb Nawaaz (radi Allahu anhu), states: "Daughters are a gift from Almighty Allah. Those parents who are kind towards them, then Almighty Allah is generous towards such parents. Those who are merciful to their daughters, Almighty Allah is Merciful towards them." The great Saint also said, "When a girl is born to a family, then between the parents and Hell, there shall be a distance of five hundred years."

It has been stated that when parents rejoice at the birth of a daughter, this is greater than making Tawaaf of the Kaaba seventy times. Muslims should also remember that the family of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) is from his beloved daughter Sayyidah Fatima Zahra (radi Allahu anha).

Dear brothers and sisters, rejoice on the birth of your daughters, love and guide them and give them that which is due to them from your belongings. Do not deprive them of their inheritance as they also have say in this. Remember! Daughters are a blessing and not a burden.